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For immediate release: A leadership expert says teams should not be worried about conflict but encourage it – as long as they know how to use it for the benefit of the group.
Drew Povey, founder of the Drew Povey Consultancy, has worked with international companies including BMW and Lloyds Bank, and believes people can use disagreements to improve team dynamics and creativity.
Speaking to raise awareness of Conflict Resolution Day, which falls on October 16, he said:
“People get very worried and anxious about conflict but it’s the unresolved conflict that is the problem.
“I actually want conflict in teams. In the best teams I’ve worked with, I try to encourage it because you actually need a level of it.
“Why? Because if done well conflict, without a doubt, can help with creativity. It will definitely strengthen relationships, and it can drive progress. So it’s not the negative thing people think it is.
“If everyone’s harmonious and we always agree with each other, then you don’t get different ideas or challenges to the status quo.
“The trick is to use it in the right way to develop stronger relationships and get people pulling together.
“But to harness it properly, you need to have the skills and the commitment to resolve it and create new connections.”
Here Drew outlines five ways employers can positively react to conflict:
1. Act fast.
When it comes to conflict, we know that a small spark can create a forest fire if it’s ignored. We’ve got to act on these things quickly so don’t let it fester.
But when you meet with people to discuss a disagreement, don’t sugar coat it and avoid the subject, because it doesn’t work. Get straight to the point; people know you want to talk about something so move the conversation around to it quickly.
2. Listen twice, speak once
We’ve all know the phrase ‘you’ve got two ears and one mouth, use them in that ratio.’ I don’t even think that’s correct. You’ve got two ears and two eyes so observe, listen and then speak at the right time.
Because conflict isn’t solved by broadcasting something. It’s actually solved by listening deeply, asking questions, and seeing the world through their eyes.
That doesn’t make it correct, but we should spend time listening, because that’s the biggest part of communication.
3. Communicate properly
As an employer or a boss, don’t just inform, because information is what you say but communication is how you say it, and, of course, how it’s heard. Your job should be to help people to understand, which means you should consider how you are going to discuss things in a way that will land properly and ensure they hear the intent of what you say.
Tone, timing and intent matter as much, if not more, than the words we use.
4. Focus on common ground
This is something we can all learn from the great negotiators. Because by starting with that common ground you are going to find the connection between people which will be the healer.
Facts help and connection heals so anchor the discussion on shared goals such as ‘where do we want to end up?’ ‘What do we want to achieve together?’
5. Find a way forward
Resolutions are never about proving who’s right, and this is what it can get to in any disagreement. People see it as a battle, and they’ve got to win but actually, it’s not about that at all. It’s about creating the conditions for everyone to come out of the other side strong.
When leaders have that in their mindset, when they’re focused on the positive next steps, it’s a much better way of approaching it. It’s about moving forward, not the situation. It’s about solutions and not the problems.
Attack the issue, not the person. Conflict about tasks should never become conflict about somebody’s character, but that’s where it can go when we’re trying to get the win or we’re getting annoyed about it. This is where curiosity and asking those open ended questions can really help.
You may also like: How To Successfully Foster a Positive Company Culture
Image source: Drew Povey
