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How revenge and grudges make the divorce process harder

January 28, 2021 by BPM Team

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Judge gavel deciding on marriage divorce

Going through a divorce is one of the hardest things that someone will have to do. During this process, figuring out a way to legally split assets, share child custody and simply move forward with your life is difficult. One reason why this process can be challenging is that some parties to a divorce are seeking revenge or hold grudges. Unfortunately, there are several ways that seeking revenge and holding grudges can make the entire divorce process much harder. 

People Focus on Hurting Other Rather Than Doing What is Right

One of the largest problems that come with a divorce that is fueled by grudges and revenge is that people are more focused on hurting the other partner than coming up with a reasonable settlement. If you are focused on revenge and getting back at your former spouse, it could end up resulting in a settlement that does not benefit anyone. Not only will this complicate your life more in the future, but it could extend the time that it takes to finalize the divorce, which will only add more frustration and stress to the entire experience.  

Parties Involved Will Not Be Civil

If someone is holding a grudge and seeking revenge during the divorce process, it will likely become quite apparent to all people involved. This will result in unfair requests and untrue statements to be filed. This will then result in parties to the divorce not being civil or acting in good faith. If this is the case for your divorce, it will then result in a lot more back and forth deliberation that will not be productive. In the end, the case will have to go in front of a judge, which can make the entire process more difficult. 

Children Develop Animosity

While divorce is hard on the parents, it is also quite challenging for any kids that are involved. A divorce is already incredibly challenging for a child. The thought of having to split time with different parents, moving into a new home and having to manage all of these challenges is already quite difficult. However, it can be easier for a child if the parents are able to work together and are civil during the process. If one or both parents are seeking revenge during the process, it will result in the children developing animosity for one or both of the parents involved. This could continue to have a long-lasting impact on their lives and the relationship they share with their parents. 

Frustration from Legal Parties

When you are going through a divorce, there is a chance that your case will be seen in front of a judge or go into arbitration. When this occurs, it is always best to remain calm, be civil and respectful and be open-minded when it comes to a final settlement. However, if there are people that are seeking revenge during this time, it can make the entire process much more hostile. Not only is this hard for the divorce parties and attorneys to deal with, but it will lead to frustration for the judge and arbitrator as well. This frustration could then lead to a pause in the entire process or result in someone not receiving the settlement or decision that they were hoping for. 

Emotions Will Carry Forward After the Divorce

When you are going through a divorce, it will end your formal relationship for good. However, people that are divorced often are still tied to each other in some capacity. If you have children, you will likely continue to speak for a long time as you share co-parenting duties. Even those without kids may still own assets together that need to be sold or there could be alimony payments that need to be paid. If you are going to get divorced, you will want to ensure that you can have a productive and civil relationship with your spouse going forward. If the divorce process is fueled with revenge and the development of a grudge, this will continue to last well after the divorce is over. This could then make it harder to maintain a positive relationship in the future and will make future interactions difficult as well. 

The divorce process is never easy and if revenge and grudges get in the way, it can be much harder for everyone involved. Due to the impact that a divorce can have on one’s future, you need to make sure that you have proper legal representation by your side. The team at Men’s Rights Divorce and Family Law of New Jersey is a great option for anyone that needs legal support during a divorce. The team here can help to keep the process as civil as possible and will ensure that your rights are represented during the full process. 

You may also like: Why You Need a Divorce Mediator

Image Source: Shutterstock.com

Filed Under: Legal, Relationships Tagged With: divorce, Law, legal tips, relationships

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